After death: Dealing with the details

There are many things you have to deal with when someone close to you dies. Jesse’s life was short and included but little baggage, and yet there is still aftermath. For example the Portsmouth cops took Jesse’s computer and cell phone and won’t give them back, at least not so far. The detective says they have to finish the “investigation.” Even though we nor he have any reason to think there was a crime committed. It seems to be part of the procedure when a young person is found dead for no obvious reason. I sent the detective an email this morning to check on the status:

Hello Detective Clinton,

I hope your investigations are going well. If the FBI is somehow able to crack into my son Jesse’s computer please tell them there is some artwork on there we would like to retrieve. He did a lot of amazing digital art, and I am told by his friends that some of it should be on that computer. Whatever they do, please tell them not to destroy or damage any files.

We are going to be starting a foundation that sells prints of Jesse’s art to raise money to help the working poor of Portsmouth and Suffolk. We have lots of physical artwork, but he did even more digital art.

Let us know when we can come pick up the items you took.

Thank you,

Carol Apple

The day I wrote my son’s obituary

Just before 1:00 pm on August 8th I found out my 23-year old son was dead. The next day my husband and I met with a funeral director and planned his funeral. I then went home, sat in a chair for hours and eventually wrote this obituary. Today is two weeks and two days after I wrote that obituary and I am still shell shocked. On this blog I will write the story of my son and how it is that his life ended four months before he would have been 24. I will do this because I am a writer and because my son was a good person who deserves to be honored and remembered. I will also do it because I need to find some way to face the rest of my life without Jesse.

I have some notions about how the rest of my life might be worth something, and all of my ideas begin in the realm of the spiritual. I cannot break the spiritual connection with my child, so I have no choice but to go where he is. Though I still walk around for the time in my material body, part of each day my mind goes to the realm of God, where my son is in the presence of Jesus Christ. I know of no other way to go on living on earth as more than an empty shell. Some people might cope with the death of their child in different ways, but I can only tell you about my way.